where to go

getting out of the way
a still-beating broken and battered heart
acceptance
beginning the process
enduring what seems to be unbearable pain
loving anyway

This is it

accepting that we're all we've got
knowing all will be well
realizing the waiting is almost over
looking forward to time away
having X Files for him to enjoy
living my only life
praying mightily

no man-purse for him
Friends
it does matter where we live
baskets
Steve and Barry's
candles
friends

RICHIE!!!!
Tosh
this is my life
no worries
knowing where it's going
being genuinely happy for my dearest friends
news channels
reconnecting
the way the fork-in-the-road turns into a good decision

Blessed

having a daughter who writes this:

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

30
Thirty is a crisp, clean number. It's solid. Thirty hints at what may have happened in three decades.

Thirty means that time has passed but that there is still time to come.

Thirty means dedication, commitment.

Thirty has memories of slammed doors and raised voices, but thirty also clearly remembers a walk down the aisle and the feel of a newborn baby, small enough to fit in the palm of your hand.

Thirty is beautiful. Thirty is melancholy. Thirty is proud.

Thirty is love.

Happy Anniversary, Mama and Daddy!

list

organized
character
Omar
red
30
Bengie
almost
puppers
city
friendship
dessert
enough

not wanting to kill my husband for cheating on me

knowing that my husband would never cheat on me

still feeling immense love - coming AND going - after 30 years

having a child who understands that marriage takes work, but people CAN stay together

him and me individually and us together